Haii~! 4/28/11

I feel SUPPER excited~! Tomorrow I'm going to the mall with Leigha. I went to Aspen's house yesterday. I PRAY he doesn't read this, I MAY, just a tiny tad,smijit,bit like him. Yeah, yeah I know. I didn't tell anyone except you, dear reader. YESH~! I used that. SO since yesterday I've been singing quie a bit, which only happens when I feel REALLY happy, or REALLY SAD, or some other EXTREME emotion. But, HE GROPED ME! He said sorry right after though. Jeanie stole my shoe...Haha we all traded shoes & I asked this random dude if I could borrow his metal dector. I told him it was for eanie to find dildos. SOME LADY TOLD ME & ASPEN TO SHAKE HER BALLS!!!She was playing tennis. Haha I kicked it~ So, we climbed fences, I got stuck on the top of one. I finally decided never to wear flats when we go over to his house & climbed down. I sent a HUGE ammount of forwards~& now I'm texting Chantel. I haven't been hanging out with my NORMAL group of Chantel & Leigha, I'm now part of the Sparks Middle School Host Club. My phone keeps shutting off randomly. It's VERRY ANNOYING. & I have to keep it untill my 16th birthday. THEN I get an I phone. I hate my phone. I just was SO IN LOVE WITH THIS PHONE~! But...not so much anymore...I barely use it.Smooth, get some spicy fries, but forget you water in the kitchen, smooth, Bailey. GOt my water, gonna finish these fries, pack for Leigha's & go to bed~!Haha Aspen is my wall paper, hes humping a wale XD Nightttttt <3

It's those thoughts again 4/22/11

I really feel like I don't have a family anymore. My dad "already has one family issue" & it's now his job to work on his brother's life instead of his family that lives with him. I didn't have anybody, & I got through it. I really don't like how he takes ALL his stress out on us. I really hate that.Like, I was supper hungry & he barged in the kitchen. He piled 4cups of pasta onto his plate,& then went searching for food, he didn't find these french cookies brionne brought home, because me & Jeanie ate them all. It's not like they're irreplacible. She got them from wallmart. Then he was like GOD DAMN IT!!!! so I was just waiting for him to move, at this point, I was cheerfull & happy to see him for the 1-2 time today, & he YELLED at me for waiting for him to move!!Oh Shit. there's a police officer outside....So then he sat down with his t.v tray & started watching. It was a wrong adress b.t.w. They got the adress wrong, there was screaming here...So then he just started stabing the pasta REALLY HARD, like about to break the plate. So, he asked me why I ate all of them. & he just started telling me off, then he was like GO IN YOUR ROOM!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TODAY!!! He didn't even say hi to me when I got home. I swear, Jeanie's house is my home away from "home". & we ended up having a physical confrontation over it. He was trying to pull it away from me! I'm not just some pushover, I am a living breathing human being with feelings, hopes dreams & e.t.c he was like LEAVE YOUR DINNER HERE. SO I slammed it on the table, he has done it thousands of times, why can't I? I mean, if this behavior is propper for a grown adult, then shouldn't it be appropriate for a 14 year old?So, I washed off the plate, sobing at this point. & I put it in the dish washer, went in my room & asked God why the hell he made my life to be like this? I know, hardships make you stronger,harder to break, but I don't want to be the strong one. I want to lean on a friend every once in a while, cry when I want to, not when I need to, even if it's just for  minutes. I'm sorry that I ate all the sweets, but that was the ONLY sweet thing in the house. Excuse me if I have cravings, I can't controll them uopn will.Sigh, that really depressed me. I'm going over to Jeanie's house for Easter, my family dosen't celebrate it anymore. I miss my mother...She did drink, smoke, & have verry bad problems, but I always did love her more than anywone else & I intend it to stay like that. I can't help imagine a time when they wer'nt fighting, all of the family was home,safe,& sober. I HATE tapping into my memmories like this. It brings tears to my eyes & I'm babbysitting. The reason why I cry each time we fight isn't what happend in the fight, but that he's so used to constantly being in a fight with somebody.  I wish he could control his anger better, I don't want him to be that way around the twins. I had my mother to say,"she's only __years old Lee!" But all the babies will have is Brionne, she's so unde his will, it's disgusting. He can kick her out anytime he wants. I garuntee, that I won't last long if it's just me & him. He's actually stand-able when he's not around the presence of others. But if he is, he finds me to be a pesky "teeny boper" I Fucking Hate That. It's like he takes all the things I say the opposite way, like if I'm being serrious, he'll be silly. If I'm being silly, he'll take everything I say & twist it to something that makes me out to be a bully, telling him these fabricated words to make myself feel better. Ugh, I'm done.

Herroz~! 4/21/11

Helloooooooo <3
Ugh, mu sister is being SUPPER weird. She's being SO distant. Well, I shouldn't dwell on things...So, today. I got off the bus & we were walking home, Jeanie just sat down on somebody's lawn & then I was like pshhhh why not? So I sat down right next to her. We sat like that for, like half an hour, telling mariah to go home~ Haha we're men, we call her kiwis & yuri XD She kinda deserves it though. Ugh, my sister is crying again, I hate it when she crys...Well, so mariah finally left, & we sat there just....being us I guess. OH one of Susan's friends lent me her glasses <3 they're supper cute <3 They're like nerd glasses. I LOVEEEEE themmmm <333333 & that trent kid keeps making things akaward, that was one of the things that I loved about Anthony, He didn't make things akaward when we talked~But most of the time, I just zone out when I'm around trent. He's just too much. It's not that he's a boy. I just don't like high-matinence sevies... Because, I'm almost done with middle school, I don't want a fight. Hmmmm I wonder if I'm too heart-y~ LEIGHA CANCELD ON ME!!!!!!!!! She also did that at lunch T^T. OH~! I helped Jeanie clean her room~! I think I need to clean my room too.......Well I'll do that later <3 Hahahahahaha OMG me & Jeanie got on ChatRoulette & Omegle, We're gonna do it again tomorrow x3 & go to Virgina Palmer~ I wish I still went to a year round school <3 Hahahahahahah I need an otaku <3~! Well, that's all for me~ I'm gonna eat these (AWESOME cherry honey ricola) cough drops Jeanie gave me, & clean up my roomz~! Night Loveeeeeeee <33333333333

Hey~! April 20th LOL 4/20!!!

Hey world~! I've been sleeping quite crappily lately. Soooo I took a nap yesterday & I slept soooooooo well. I think I should take more naps like this <3 Wellllll, Susan lent me yet another manga & I saw that It was My Faviorite Manga Ever. The one that I read all of last summer at the book store. Haha I rember staying late to read the last volume. I got SO SCHOLDED when I got home >.<( so worth it). Haha I love getting on xat & people are like WHO ARE YOU!? Then, I'm like I'm konan & they're like OH HOW'VE YOU BEEN?!!! I had an AWESOME day. I developed this system. That I call the angel system. Boys who are just kinda side attractions that I kinda like but not quite are black angels, gray angels are boys who I went through a "phase" liking them. Then there's the white angel, the one boy who I'll spend the rest of my life with <3, & lastly there's a cream angel, the one boy who freakin confuses me. No mentions of those who fit in the last two spots. So, the rest of the people in my life are types of angels too. But, they're colored angels. Like Leigha, she's a lime green angel, Chantel is a purple angel. I don't know why, it's just like that. It let's me classify boys & people. Ugh, that boy keeps asking to be my sevie. I DON'T WANT A MALE SEVIE!!! Ugh, he's a brown angel. & the rest of the people who have no connection to me don't have wings, & I decided that he dosen't ethire. & Gari... well Gari's a hot pink angel :3 & Anthony's a gray angel. Hmm...Leigha's comming over on Friday. So I sit behind Jacob in math, he started talking to me & catlin, I was like wtf? He tried to take my pencil & ripped my paper T^T So I was trying to pry him from my pencil & I tore into his skin & I was like awww I'm sorry D: Sp, I'm cutting my nails. He's just a black angel, I'm quite sure that I won't find my shiroi-tenshi in middle school. But I may have, there's a different Jacob, he has alot of health prblems, I originally found him for leigha but... I dunno, At the moment he's just a black angel, nothing more. *Sigh* my dad is sutch a dick. Blah, blah, blah, I just came home, I don't appriciate you telling me that I'm as "dumb as a post". Well I'm gonna get on WLO, babysit for a bit & then, NaP TiMe <3

YO!!!!! VERRY EARLY April 18th 2011

Herro :D It's 1:30 in the morning & I have school today~ Ah, yes, I know -_- But I'm gonna look tottaly awesome tomorrow :D But, for some reason Anthony was up & I asked him what he was doing up this early, trying to make conversation, He's being a real dick. I now think that the only way to talk to him is messiging(Fuck it, it's early) Bleh, I think that I only liked him beacuse I thought he liked me back, damn was I wrong~Eh, but whatever, I can see myself easily becomming friends with him. As mentioned, he's really funny, I like that in a guy. But not, like dating, I think I'm done with guys for the rest of middle school. Unless a hot, like REALLY hot guy who actually says he likes me transfers, we all know that's not gonna happen. I just want another otaku I guess. I think that'd be nice~ Ah I can be sutch a fan girl -_- I actually feel like all of my attraction twoards him is gone. Weird, huh? Well I painted my nails FINALLY. I'm gonna go to school tomorrow & blow them away... with my fresh-out-of-bed face. Joy of all joys~~Ah too negitave x.x Well I still play wlo & I got up like 4 levels over the break :0 I found a new traning spot. It's called pine. (Done with the nerdness). Still waiting for my Kyo(From Black Bird *My faviorite manga OF ALL TIME) Well, I do belive it's youtube time, PEACE <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not quite sure what to feel...

Considering, this is my private blog, which I did not post on Face Book, I shall cease all rants of Anthony. (Back to normal) AHHHHH~! I did it~!!!! I asked him if he liked me or not. Juuuust because I was looking up ways to get over him, & BOOM~! I found the answer. It's been hard for me because I didn't know. So I finally asked him & his exact answer was, "As a friend :)" & I was like WTF?!?!?!?!? He said he almost never checks Face Book. So, then why did he send that message exactly one minute after it was sent? It was very quick, Perhaps too quick? Well, I hung on to the fantasy that he still likes me for a total of, 3 or less minutes. Then I was like WhAtEvEr. Though we're going to the same high school, with all the cute boys around, I'm sure I'll live. But,not I have to get good grades this last quarter. I am mystified why I hate homework so much. Some dude tried to hack me on WLO!!!  He just came out with" okay, give me your account name and password" & I was like," I'm sorry~ I don't give those out^^~". So that was the highlight of my day. I know, spring break, so exciting, take your top off break out a beer & drive to Cancun. Sure, if you can drive, drink, & have diplomatic immunity. But, I'm none of those things. So, here was my average spring break schedule(Damn, I hate that word~! Why do I have to use it so much?!): 1pm: Wake up, re-inflate my poped air matress(Thanks,Lucy*Supper fluffy muffin Neko>.<*),1:30pm:Wallow in pain, due to my strep throat.2:30pm:Get on my computer, beg my friends for cough dops.3:30pm: Make oragami hearts out of the wrapers of cough drops & watch anime(I JUST finished trigun~ IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!!! & it helped the pain :D) 7:30pm: Roll out of my bed & attempt to eat dinner, reflate the bed.8:00pm, Back to the anime & WLO.4:00am:go to bed.& repeat. That was my spring break, so fun. Atleast I got some sleep LOL HAHAHAH ROTFLCOPTER!!!! Haha okay, that was creepy. Well,my dear blogger, It is time to hunt down some food(I don't hunt animals. Imagine how ridicilous a 14 year old girl running through the streets, a spear in her hand, a cat at her heels, at midnight would look)So,um, bye then <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3~!

Hello~! SUPPER EARLYApril 14th 2011

Herro~! How are you today~? That's delightful. I'm sick T^T &  I have strep throat, so joyful. It hurts to swallow. I ra out of coughdrops though. THey ae my salvation~! They + MEGA strong asprin+antiobiotics=Hopefully soon recovery. I have decided to do some dubs/regular karaoke~! & I shall record them, my voice isn't that bad,or my music teacher dosen't think so :D Butttttt I have a cold sore too. I hate being sick. The anniversary event on WLO is happenning right now~ I have my chacrter on auto. So I'm going to continue watching Trigun~Not alot is happenning. Except for, I'm going over to steal some cough drops from my friend Jeanie tomorrow~ SHE HAS AN ENTIRE BAG!!! I hope they don't suck...Well, byeeeeeee<3

Re-April 11th 2011

Heyyy, got the laptop charger back~! So, The last post was kinda er....BUT anyways, I do belive, the I shall tell you of something other than my teenage angst. It's spring break~! Yes, I know, I should have my top off & be in Cancun right now. But I prefer, for my breaks in school, to laze around the house, wear nothing but pjs, watch anime, read manga, frequently update my FaceBook status, & waste masses of time on WLO. I dropped this ornament today & it stabbed me in the hand! Right inbetween my index & middle finger~! Ow its rather painfull >.< On new years, this year, I tripped over my mini-stool & it gave me this realllly bloody bruise on my pinky toe. Today, I was clipping my toenails, it's approximately flip-flop weather here, & I started clipping my pinky toe & basically all of my pinky toe nail came off~! I wish myself good luck explaining that the the person that does pedicures. It's only Sunday & I  get an entire week to myself. I may laze around (Most likely option) or I may do something else. I LOVE staying up suuuuupper late on my vacations. I honestly belive two things, 1. that I have parasites & 2. that I'm nocturnal. OH~! I got a queen sized air matress & it has a hole in it somewhere, so it's deflating REALLY fast.Ah, & I went to tour my new high school. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!! It's the largest school in our district. I'm not sure if that's good or bad...I should re-name  my blog Bailey's world :D Well. I think I'm just gonna keep this on & write my thoughts down WITH the time so here it goes:(1:03am) Tottaly bored, making silicon on WLO.(1:19am) I feel like I finally have WLO down again, it feels awesome >U<(1:25am) I took my gauges out a coupple hours ago & they still fit~! <3(1:34am) At xat w my friend^^~(2:08am) Kinda upset...But oh well^^~(3:06)Happy again :)(3:30am) Going to bed...Upset my night was cut short.. but oh well, there's always tomorrow night~ I just didn't feel like talking to him anymore~ Peace^^~

Recently

I feel like my sister has been tottaly ignoring me. By the way, do you like this font better? I do. So, she's been in a numb-like state since the beginning of this week. The begining of this week, she was verry sick. She made Steve baby sit though, I would have done it gladly. & she stayed in her room the entire time. She told me that I didn't do sh*t. If she had asked me I would have. I spent the time she was sick in my room, out of the way. Then I was asking her if she would like help, & she said that "She would call me if she needed my help". Now, this was a warning sigh, that things were going to get much worse. Today, she asked me to run errands with her. I did, we had to take the babies, & Steve was FINALLY leaving. So, I wasn't about to refuse the offer. I went with her, she dropped off applications at some places & we got some gas, she was FINALLY warming up to me. So we got home, all was back to the numb-like state mentioned earlier. I have no idea what I did. So, now she's being a b*tch again. I got the laptop charger ALL this week (Which was a quite large bonus for me). & she has been sending me to my room this entire time, which, really pisses me off, what makes her belive that she's in sutch a high position? Okay here's the(My computer just alerted me that I have 10% left, thanks, Brionne) line of power in my house Dad-Brionne_Me. That's right, I have the lowest amount of controll in this house. & it really pisses me off how some of the people*cough*Brionne*Cough* treat me in this house.To her, I'm not her sister, I'm just some fat, lazy, nusience layzing aroung the house, making messes all day. She pretty much hates me. She was all laughing with Steve & then when I went in there & sat on the edge of the chair, which a baby was sleeping on, she was like, GO IN YOUR ROOM. That reallllllllly pissed me off. It's like the first coupple of weeks she went out with Steve. I don't exist unless I'm a nussiance, again. I want to slap that woman & tell her to get off her high horse, & infact someday I will.I'm not as pissed off as I am, disgusted, upset, & other mixed feelings with Brione. THAT is the end of  my rant I have Some stuff to do, & 9% left, so I'm gonna end this. "Peace to my lovers, haters & masturbaters"-Shimmycocopuffs.